In a previous blog post I talked about the concept of
writing what haunts us, and how it influences the topics we choose. Clearly,
our psychological make-up is bound to affect the way we write – and the
characters we create.
Earlier in the year I watched a TV documentary called OCD
Extreme Challenge, which followed the progress of a group of young people who
were all debilitated by Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and wanted to improve
their condition.
People who don’t suffer from OCD or phobias find it hard to
understand. Saying “pull yourself
together really doesn’t work”. The fear
is real. Most OCD sufferers hate being
the way they are and are desperate to be “normal.” They try to hide their issues and use
strategies to give the impression they are like everyone else. It’s hard
work.
This was riveting viewing and also very moving. The
participants were brave to allow their situation to be observed to help others
and risk ridicule from those who just don’t understand what it feels like to be
at the mercy of OCD. Two of the young people had contamination OCD,
which involved excessive hand washing, and fear of public places and therefore
eating out.
Physical challenges were part of the therapy, the theory
being if you can conquer extreme physical obstacles, the resulting self-confidence
enables you to cope better with the OCD.
So you trick your brain into thinking you can do anything. I suspect overcoming any major
challenge, physical or not, can achieve the same results.
The therapist did not try to cure them, but instead helped
them come to terms with living with
uncertainty, confronting the fears and extreme rituals. Because fear of the unknown and not being in
control is at the root of OCD. Freedom from
being controlled by their condition is what sufferers seek; because,
ironically, we are control freaks. We
need to be in control of our environment in ways that, realistically, we can’t
be. And constantly fighting the resulting
pervasive intrusive thoughts is exhausting.
About 20 years ago, I saw a CBT therapist and it gave me
some tools to enable me to cope better.
I had a phobia about anything medical, and debilitating checking
routines, as well as a travel phobia.
The therapy enabled me to travel abroad, even managing a trip to Bali (an exceptionally
stressful 7 days, since it exposed me to almost every anxiety and hang-up – and succeeded
in reinforcing my fears!).
Caring for my parents, I had to confront my medical phobias
head on, which I did, and you would think, (as I did) that this would cure the
phobias. But in fact, despite finding
ways to manage the fears so I wasn’t crippled by them, they actually became
worse – especially after losing both parents to cancer.
I have recorded some of my thoughts in notebooks, and
writing down how I feel does help. Writing as therapy.
In the 1980s, I wrote a short piece about my underground
train phobia, which I called
Only 3
Stops, published in the excellent
QWF
magazine. But, apart from a short ghost
story, I’ve not really explored it in my
fiction – yet. There are few fictional characters with OCD that I can name who
are main protagonists, which is a shame, because there are lots of sufferers
out there. The TV detective series
Monk
was refreshing in that the detective hero had crippling OCD (which of course helps
him solve the crimes). And one of my
favourite characters is Sheldon, the theoretical physicist in the wonderful TV
sit com
The Big Bang Theory. I laugh because I recognise much of the
behaviour, and what, to non-sufferers, may seem ridiculous and strange, to me
demonstrates logic and common sense! It all boils down to the way we think about
things. I believe that neuroscientists
have identified faulty brain wiring in OCD sufferers and I hope that developments
in this field will continue. If there
was a cure for OCD it would be life-changing.
Related post:
http://janeayres.blogspot.co.uk/2013/07/write-what-haunts-you.html
