Speed writing

I used to write 1000 words an hour.  These days, the words take longer to come. I've not managed in the past to complete the NANO challenge, and with November upon us again, I doubt I will this year.  

But to everyone who does, or for those who simply want to write faster, I came across this excellent blog post by Jennifer Ellis which is full of helpful information and advice. A highly recommended blog!  Definitely made me think I need to be rather more productive.....

http://jenniferellis.ca/blog/2014/9/23/writing-faster-but-keeping-it-okay



Related post: http://janeayres.blogspot.co.uk/2014/05/writing-for-success-writing-for-failure.html

Kate Atkinson on South Bank Show: author interview

If you get a chance to see this, do watch author Kate Atkinson interviewed by Melvyn Bragg for the South Bank Show on Sky.  (Next on tomorrow!) Illuminating and inspiring - I immediately downloaded Life after Life onto my kindle!

http://www.sky.com/tv/show/the-south-bank-show/video/kate-atkinson

Reflections on being a writer: Judy Croome Guest Post

I'm delighted to welcome South African author Judy Croome to The Beautiful Room.  I recently met Judy "virtually" after reading her excellent article http://www.thebookdesigner.com/2014/05/judy-croome/, in which she shares her tips for reading aloud at writer events.  This really resonated with me, so I decided to visit Judy's website and contact her.  (This is one of the things I love about the internet - being able to connect with other writers anywhere in the world).  Happily, Judy very kindly agreed to be interviewed, providing some really thought-provoking and inspirational reflections on being a writer......

What is the best thing about being a writer?

Freedom, on all levels.

There’s the physical freedom of being able to work in my pyjamas on a cold winter’s morning or at a time of day that allows me to meet other commitments.

Then there’s emotional freedom. In today’s world many of us are so well-socialised or so intellectualised that we’ve lost touch with our feelings. Don’t cry, Johnny, boys don’t cry. Don’t shout, Alice, girls don’t get angry.  
No wonder we repress our deepest emotions. Whenever one writes, the possibility exists that we can, in a safe way, tap into those emotions buried so deeply and free them from where they’re nailed into our psyches. 

And, finally, when your writing pushes you into places you never thought you could go, there’s a spiritual freedom that comes from unexpectedly meeting an inner self that is truer than any other personality mask we wear.

What is the worst thing about being a writer?

Fear. The time between books is always a dangerous time for me, because it’s then that I’m most tempted to give up writing. I’m riddled with fear and doubt and anxiety about everything from the reviews of my last book to the ideas I have for future books. That’s why I procrastinate (a lot!) before diving in to the actual writing. When I do begin to write again, it takes an act of real self-discipline to keep myself writing as I travel into the dark places that the muse sometimes takes me.

Most writers complain about being easily distracted and the problems of procrastinating.  Is this something that affects you? 

I have a PhD in Procrastination. I’ve developed Procrastination into an art form more complex than anything I’ve ever written. I also have the attention span of a pea. So, yes, Procrastination is a serious issue for me. I think I’ll go and make a cup of tea now. I’ll be back in a minute to write the rest of this article!

Why do you think this especially seems to be an issue for writers? (rather than artists or composers?) 

Writing is a more intellectual process than the other creative arts. Each creative art has its own “intellectual” technique, that is, the learned part of the craft. But when it comes to the creative alchemy, words are more of the intellect than music or paintings. 

A writer needs a strong mind to keep the words dancing. While the power of the mind is a great asset in creating a logical story or character arc, or for the endless editing and revision stages that a story requires, that same mind can be a disadvantage at times.

It can deceive us into thinking we’re actually writing when we’re only perfecting our procrastination skills.  Social media, plotting our stories, seeking that perfect word to write that perfect sentence all feel like “real” writing, but they’re simply avoidance techniques.

What do writers want to avoid? All those scary emotions that writing forces to the surface in a way that the mind can’t control or repress. And so writers procrastinate more than artists or musicians who, to create, have to move into a space beyond the mind rather than (as writers do) work through the mind to create.  I sometimes think of my procrastination period as a pre-writing war: my emotional urge to create a story battling it out with my intellectual urge to keep the dark creative void at bay.

Do you have any tips for other writers to help in being focussed and maintaining that focus?

Only one. Write every day. Even if it’s only 100 words a day, write.  When I start a writing task, I use a modified version of the “Don’t Break the Chain” calendar based upon a motivation technique purportedly used by Jerry Seinfeld. It really works. Once you cross off the first block, it’s almost impossible to resist striving to keep the chain going. And don’t cheat yourself. If you don’t write on the work you’re trying to finish, you don’t get to cross off a block! Here’s the link for more information on that method: Jerry Seinfeld’s Don’t Break the Chain Method

Here’s another link to an excellent article on writer’s procrastination and how to overcome it

Can writers change the world? 

Indirectly, yes, I do believe that writers can change the world. As the great Mahatma Gandhi said, the way to change the world is to change oneself. Our words can reach out to people and change their inner landscape. Like water dripping from a tap, drop by drop, if enough people change themselves, then the world will eventually change too. I’ve included this philosophy in my biography on my website:

If you were not a writer, which other art form or profession would you pursue to express yourself?

I used to be an accountant. I still don’t know how I survived all those years in an office environment. If I could choose another career to creatively express myself in, I’d ask God to grant me the gift of being able to create beautiful music. Music, more than any other artistic form, has the ability to transcend language and difference, reminding us of our common humanity through the harmony of wordless sounds.

****

Judy Croome lives and writes in Johannesburg, South Africa. Shortlisted in the African Writing Flash Fiction 2011 competition, Judy’s short stories and poems have appeared in various magazines and anthologies, such as the Huffington Post and the University of the Witwatersrand’s Itch Magazine.

Judy loves her family, cats, exploring the meaning of life, chocolate, cats, rainy days, ancient churches with their ancient graveyards, cats, meditation and solitude. Oh, and cats. Judy loves cats (who already appear to have discovered the meaning of life.) 

Her books “The Weight of a Feather & Other Stories” (2013), “a Lamp at Midday” (2012) and “Dancing in the Shadows of Love” (2011) are available, and she is currently researching child murders for her next novel and you can visit Judy on www.judycroome.com , “Like” her Facebook Author page for updates or join her on Twitter @judy_croome.

****

You might also enjoy these related posts:
http://janeayres.blogspot.co.uk/2014/05/reflections-on-being-full-time-writer.html
http://janeayres.blogspot.co.uk/2014/04/can-writers-really-change-world.html

Reflections on being a full-time writer

photo Jane Ayres

I wrote this last year. 

"I think there are arguments for doing a job in parallel with a writing career.  I've never been a full time writer and don't think I would want to, because I enjoy and am inspired by interactions with people and different experiences.  I've had a full time salaried job for most of my working life and when I did, I fantasised about giving it all up to be a writer.  This made me value my precious writing time and I probably worked harder as a result, because I was striving for success.  I had more self discipline too. When I went part time (first down to 4 days pw, then 3.5, then 3 days) my intention was to spend more time writing.  But weirdly I then found it even harder to write!  It was like the more time I had, the more I seemed to procrastinate.  Duh!  I wouldn't want a full time salaried job again, as I enjoy having more control over how I structure my time.  I envy writers who can be single minded and motivated enough to be a full time writer."

Hmmm.  I was made redundant last summer and became, by default, a full-time writer, which means I also teach writing and do voluntary freelance work for arts projects I am passionate about.  So, 9 months later, how do I feel about the pressure of solely relying on self-employment?  Scary.  Pressured.  I find myself looking for part time salaried work once more (after a panic during financial projections for the next few months).  Between blocks of frenetic writing activity, I lapse into periods of writing inactivity, which makes me feel guilty and useless.  I set myself targets for my next two novellas that I haven't even started yet.  

Struggling to see the wood from the trees right now....

Related post:  
http://janeayres.blogspot.co.uk/2013/08/writing-dreams.html

Can writers really change the world?

photo Chris Ayres

Mention sci-fi visionaries such as Asimov and Philip K. Dick to scientists and techies and they’ll reveal how these guys accurately predicted cybernetics and social media.  Ideas into action. Yet in some quarters they were regarded as pulp writers with vivid (and sometimes weird) imaginations.  

Today, TV soaps like Enders and Corrie have the power to change public perceptions of, and inform about, social issues that lobbyists and charities have struggled for years to publicise. Using storylines covering topics from domestic abuse to, more recently, pancreatic cancer, these dramas raise awareness on a massive scale.  Words have power. 

So why (and how) can “populist” writers succeed in changing the world?  Is the pen (or latest digital writing device) really mightier than a sharp pointy weapon?  I think so.  And I'm glad for that. 

Related post:
http://janeayres.blogspot.co.uk/2013/03/slaves-to-machines.html
http://janeayres.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/are-novels-getting-weirder.html

How to win a short story competiton

Subject matters?
You’ve posted off the final draft of your short story to yet another writing competition, paying attention to all the ingredients you know judges look for - like structure, plot, pacing, characterisation, dialogue, and language.  But how important is your choice of subject? Will it engage your readers - or alienate them?  What themes do you intend to explore in your story? And what part does subjectivity play in the decision-making process?  After all, writing competition judges are human beings, aren’t they?........(click link for rest of article) http://www.wordswithjam.co.uk/2014/01/subject-matters-how-to-win-short-story.html

This is the start of my article about winning short story competitions, in the current issue of the excellent Words with JAM - packed with useful info for writers.  If you want to check it out, here is the link
http://www.wordswithjam.co.uk/2014/01/subject-matters-how-to-win-short-story.html


Related posts:
http://janeayres.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/words-with-jam-how-to-make-time-for.html

Female Gothic: words, sounds and storytelling

Do you have any favourite words?  Or are there words or phrases that really grate?

If I hear someone in the media say “robust” one more time I will scream.  Another phrase I strongly dislike is “punching above their weight.”  It makes my skin crawl.

I’ve been reading a lot recently, both fiction and non-fiction, and I’ve nearly finished a bestselling novel which is structured in an unusual but disjointed manner.  I haven’t warmed to the protagonist and I’m not exactly enjoying it, but the concept interests me so I want to see what happens.  And I’ve realised that my problem with the book is not the story, but the writing.  I just don’t like the words the author uses.   Or the way she wields them.

The sounds of words matter.  Magenta.  Melisma.  Luminosity.  Vortex. I enjoy elegant sentences, repetition when skilfully used.   I recently saw an eerie one woman show* at our local theatre – a retelling of Victorian ghost stories by lesser known female writers – which reminded me of the power of the spoken word.  There were few props needed;  a chair, candles and spooky lighting created the atmosphere and intimacy between actress and audience. Towards the end, the storyteller spoke of birth and death as simply a reordering, reorganisation of matter.  I liked that.  And after the stories had stirred our senses, unsettling and disturbing with fear of the unknown – the root of all fear -  those words were strangely comforting.

* The show was called Victorian Gothic and is highly recommended!  The weblink is here

http://www.dyadproductions.com/FemaleGothic.html

Related posts:

http://www.janeayres.blogspot.co.uk/search/label/storytelling

Writing and OCD

In a previous blog post I talked about the concept of writing what haunts us, and how it influences the topics we choose. Clearly, our psychological make-up is bound to affect the way we write – and the characters we create.  

Earlier in the year I watched a TV documentary called OCD Extreme Challenge, which followed the progress of a group of young people who were all debilitated by Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and wanted to improve their condition.

People who don’t suffer from OCD or phobias find it hard to understand.  Saying “pull yourself together really doesn’t work”.  The fear is real.  Most OCD sufferers hate being the way they are and are desperate to be “normal.”  They try to hide their issues and use strategies to give the impression they are like everyone else. It’s hard work. 

This was riveting viewing and also very moving. The participants were brave to allow their situation to be observed to help others and risk ridicule from those who just don’t understand what it feels like to be at the mercy of OCD.   Two of the young people had contamination OCD, which involved excessive hand washing, and fear of public places and therefore eating out. 

Physical challenges were part of the therapy, the theory being if you can conquer extreme physical obstacles, the resulting self-confidence enables you to cope better with the OCD.  So you trick your brain into thinking you can do anything.  I suspect overcoming any major challenge, physical or not, can achieve the same results. 

The therapist did not try to cure them, but instead helped them come to terms with living with uncertainty, confronting the fears and extreme rituals.  Because fear of the unknown and not being in control is at the root of OCD.  Freedom from being controlled by their condition is what sufferers seek; because, ironically, we are control freaks.  We need to be in control of our environment in ways that, realistically, we can’t be.  And constantly fighting the resulting pervasive intrusive thoughts is exhausting.   

About 20 years ago, I saw a CBT therapist and it gave me some tools to enable me to cope better.  I had a phobia about anything medical, and debilitating checking routines, as well as a travel phobia.  The therapy enabled me to travel abroad,  even managing a trip to Bali (an exceptionally stressful 7 days,  since it exposed me  to almost every anxiety and hang-up – and succeeded in reinforcing my fears!). 

Caring for my parents, I had to confront my medical phobias head on, which I did, and you would think, (as I did) that this would cure the phobias.  But in fact, despite finding ways to manage the fears so I wasn’t crippled by them, they actually became worse – especially after losing both parents to cancer.  

I have recorded some of my thoughts in notebooks, and writing down how I feel does help.  Writing as therapy. 

In the 1980s, I wrote a short piece about my underground train phobia, which I called Only 3 Stops, published in the excellent QWF magazine.  But, apart from a short ghost story,  I’ve not really explored it in my fiction – yet. There are few fictional characters with OCD that I can name who are main protagonists, which is a shame, because there are lots of sufferers out there.  The TV detective series  Monk was refreshing in that the detective hero had crippling OCD (which of course helps him solve the crimes).  And one of my favourite characters is Sheldon, the theoretical physicist in the wonderful TV sit com The Big Bang Theory.  I laugh because I recognise much of the behaviour, and what, to non-sufferers, may seem ridiculous and strange, to me demonstrates logic and common sense! It all boils down to the way we think about things.  I believe that neuroscientists have identified faulty brain wiring in OCD sufferers and I hope that developments in this field will continue.  If there was a cure for OCD it would be life-changing. 

Related post: http://janeayres.blogspot.co.uk/2013/07/write-what-haunts-you.html

Author Millionaire Boot Camp - kickstart your marketing!

If any more writer friends fancy joining me, I’m off to The Millionaire Bootcamp for Authors, from 1st to 3rd November in London. My author marketing needs a good kick up the behind so hoping this will help me!

From the website: The MILLIONAIRE BOOTCAMP FOR AUTHORS, is happening in London from 1st-3rd November.

The speakers will show you how to:

* Make £1 million+ sales from your book or e-books. 

* Earn $20,000 per month with Kindle books.
* Quickly and easily achieve international bestseller status.
* Get your book into high street stores like WH Smith.
* And much more... 

Okay, so it sounds too good to be true, but for only £37 I'm willing to gamble, because I'm always keen to learn new skills, meet fellow writers and industry professionals, and I'm always up for new ideas!   And it looks like fun!

Click here to get your earlybird ticket for just £37:http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?af=1557367

Check out the website for more info about the speakers. 
http://www.millionaireauthorsbootcamp.com/speakers.html


Related posts:
http://janeayres.blogspot.co.uk/2013/09/the-further-mysteries-of-author.html
http://janeayres.blogspot.co.uk/2013/09/self-promotion-ego-and-creative.html

Self-promotion, the ego and the creative

A while back, I listened to author Edna O’Brien on the radio, talking about the intense concentration needed to write, especially memoir, and how social media dilutes our focus and is so egotistical.

I agree about writing.  I agree that social media can be used as a tool for the ego. And I agree that it can definitely dilute our focus as writers. 

However, this got me thinking about writers promoting themselves.  When you are pursuing the indie route,  unless you pay someone else to do it for you, you have to promote yourself.  How is that different to a publisher doing your marketing and PR?  And if a third party is doing it on your behalf, they are still telling the world how great you are. So is it okay for someone else to big you up, but not okay for you to express this?  Perhaps it’s a symptom of our weird British modesty - a fear of blowing our own trumpet?  That it is somehow wrong to believe you are good, let alone voice that self-confidence? 

An indie writer is a business.  You have to promote a business to survive and no-one seems to object to this but again when it comes to a creative, somehow different standards apply.  How else are we supposed to do it?  Are we supposed to starve in garrets http://creatabot.co.uk/2012/11/01/garrets-and-gatekeepers-by-jane-ayres/ while we sit back and wait to be recognised and lifted from obscurity to the realms of fame?  The internet has provided us with unparalleled opportunities to bypass this old hierarchical system.   It doesn’t mean it’s easy (it’s very tough indeed!) but it does mean we don’t have to wait for approval; we can put ourselves and our work “out there” and wait for the recipients, be they readers, listeners, etc. to respond directly without the barrier of a gatekeeper. 

So why do we drown in pools of false modesty?  Maybe secretly we don’t really think we are worth it (sorry, L’Oreal).  Maybe, deep down, we just want to be “rescued” by a publisher in shining armour…….

Related posts:
http://janeayres.blogspot.co.uk/2013/03/the-art-of-time-management.html
http://janeayres.blogspot.co.uk/2013/03/publishing-writers-vanity-and-hypocrisy.html
http://janeayres.blogspot.co.uk/2012/10/backtracking-lessons-in-indie.html

The further mysteries of author discoverability, Amazon keywords and other stuff

Just updated my keywords.  Again.  I’d tried to be clever, bunching mine together as phrases, then read that you are recommended by KDP to use single words, which maximises chances of readers finding you.  Words that communicate the following:

Setting  - eg, stables

Character – types and roles – eg, single mum, strong female lead

Plot themes – eg, coming of age, forgiveness, redemption

Story tone – eg, feel-good, emotional, dystopian

So I set to work once more, thinking about themes such as loss, guilt, and secrets that pervade my stories.  I also hadn’t realised the need to use the actual word “preteen” in the keywords to get the books listed under the 8-12 category for search purposes. 

I’ve been so busy editing and writing that I’ve not spent a lot of time on marketing and promo.  Or blogging.  Sigh.  So hard to strike a balance.  I have 2 more horse titles I wanted to bring out before the end of September (more likely October now), plus a further title end of November (horse sci-fi!) and, hopefully, a completely new story end Dec/mid Jan. Phew!  I’m enjoying writing again and get excited about all the projects ; I'm in danger of getting severe writers bum, with my limbs stiffening and head buzzing.  Friends are neglected, yoga’s gone out of the window, I forget to eat, and so many things are being put on hold until I achieve these targets.  Maybe not so healthy?

The new Gemma series is selling steadily, so I’m quite pleased with that, and Joyrider is picking up slowly.  I’m so impatient – they’ve only been out a few weeks – but I really do need to devote some serious time to marketing, which I’ve totally neglected. 

There’ll be a sneak preview of the next two covers shortly, and I’m thrilled to be working with a wonderful illustrator who is producing the image for my November release.  (More on this soon).

Now, did I actually drink that mug of coffee I made over an hour ago?  And have I left the porridge in the microwave?

How do you cope with time management?

Related posts:
http://janeayres.blogspot.co.uk/2013/07/now-you-do-see-itmaking-your-book.html 
http://janeayres.blogspot.co.uk/2013/07/now-you-see-itbook-visibility.html
http://www.thebookdesigner.com/2013/07/amazon-algorithms/

Writing projects, cats and unwritten stories

Steve, one of the two adorable feline inspirations for Coming Home

I'm working on several projects right now, one of which is a book trailer for Coming Home.  I love working with a designer and am now adding a composer to the mix.  It is so exciting to see your ideas realised (and refined!) by other creatives.

I also came across a stack of notes for unwritten books that I plan to go through later, to see if there is anything worth developing.  And I definitely plan to write a sequel to Beware of the Horse (thank you so much, wonderful Vikki Thompson from The View Outside, who suggested the idea - you should be a writing mentor, Vikki!).

So I have plenty to be getting on with.......

Related posts: http://www.janeayres.blogspot.co.uk/search/label/Coming%20Home

Grief and the Writing Routine

Since my post called Wise Words, which explored issues around grief, I read this excellent piece called The Collapse of a Writing Routine and How it was Restored by Frances Kazan. at the wonderful Jane Friedman.  Deeply moving.  Do check it out.

Related posts:

http://janefriedman.com/2013/08/12/writing-routine/

http://janeayres.blogspot.co.uk/2013/08/wise-words.html

FREE pony book for 3 days only!!

I have just launched my Gemma Pony Book series onto Amazon, available for kindle. Although the books were previously published in Scandinavia and Germany, the stories have been updated and this is the first time they have been available in the English language. 

The 4 novella series is a fast paced read for children and teenagers. 

Fun, action-packed and full of drama, the stories will appeal to pony loving teens.

Girls, boyfriends and plenty of ponies!

In the first story of the series, you’ll meet pony-mad teen Gemma Carlton and her feisty new pony Fireworks – along with Gemma’s long suffering boyfriend, Steve, her friends Fizz and Kath and best mate Callie - plus lots of ponies.

They want to raise funds for the new horse rescue centre by organising a Pony Club Dance at the community centre but then a gang of vandals cause trouble, the horses are in danger and Fireworks goes missing – and to make matters worse, Gemma soon suspects her best friend Callie is secretly going out with the gang ring leader!

Will she find Fireworks? Will she lose her friendship with Callie? And after everything that happens, can life ever be the same again?

Other titles in the Gemma series:

Gemma and the Tattooed Horses

Gemma and the Black Colt

Gemma and the Disappearing Showjumpers

For 3 days only, Book 1 of the series, Gemma and the Pony Club Dance, is FREE to download.  


Click links to buy.
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00ET9VTS0  

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Gemma-Pony-Dance-Books-ebook/dp/B00ET9VTS0

Interview with Vikki Thompson for What the Dickens

Just been interviewed for the excellent What the Dickens by the wonderful Vikki Thompson, who asked some thought provoking questions related to a recent survey about children's reading habits and e-books.  

Here is the link.  

http://home.wtd-magazine.com/review/interview-with-vikki-thompson-by-jane-ayres/

Sneak preview of covers for Gemma Pony Book Series!

Further to my post about clearing out cupboards and getting on with the 4 kindle books that need formatting, I have been working my little butski off and managed to get 2 of the books done.  Phew!  Two more to go.  As always, I experienced a few hiccups and it is always interesting to see how different the format looks on each kindle reader - working better on the basic kindle and the Paperwhite than the kindle Fire. 

Anyhow, my ambitious plan was to launch all 4 titles in my Gemma Pony Book series for children and teens SIMULTANEOUSLY.  I have a tendency to make things difficult for myself....

So here is a sneak preview of the first draft covers (they have been tweaked since then) from my brilliant designer Klaus Hartleben.  Hopefully I will get the final edits done for Books 3 and 4 before the end of the Bank Holiday weekend.  

And once my cupboards are emptied, I shall no doubt fill them up again fast!

Related post: http://janeayres.blogspot.co.uk/2013/08/writing-dreams.html

Writing Dreams

Recently I’ve been having a recurring dream about clearing out cupboards, in which I have a selection of cupboards full of stuff to sort out and organise.  I think this is about not doing the things I should be doing  - like formatting the 4 books for Kindle which have been on my to-do list for months now.  It’s preying on my mind but life seems to conspire against me so that whenever it seems I will get the time to do it, something happens.  Sigh.  Cupboards and drawers (not the knickers variety!) appear often in my dreams – usually, in the dream, I am about to move house and have left everything until the last minute and realise that I haven’t even made a start on the cupboards and it is the day of the move!  Arrgggh! 

And on the subject of dreams, I realise that I have, finally and by default (redundancy) realised my childhood ambition  – I am now, officially, a full time writer.  It’s taken nearly 40 years and I think I’m so busy trying to keep on top of everything that I haven’t actually celebrated. 

So if you always wanted to be a full time writer, don’t be discouraged if it hasn’t happened yet.  Because, one day, it will. However long it takes.  

Related post:
http://janeayres.blogspot.co.uk/2012/10/writing-in-cupboard.html

Wise words

photo Roger Hyland

“In my view, time does not heal.  It's more that unhappy memories retreat and are submerged as life carries on.  They lose their intensity, like clothes that fade after much washing, but they never disappear, and can be triggered, re-surfacing again with surprising force - especially as we get older and perhaps spend more time reflecting on our lives. Even if we can develop a wiser perspective, that ball of sadness is still there.”

These wise words are from one of my dearest friends, Patrysha, who I have known since I was 18 years old. 

I heard an interview with Peter Andre after his brother died of kidney cancer at the end of 2012, in which he observed, “You don’t get over it, you just get on with it.”

In a recent conversation with a friend who also lost both her parents to cancer, she spoke of “carrying” the impact of this indefinitely.  It’s a good way to put it. 

A while back, I wrote a post called Writing What Haunts You.   

What haunts me is the way both my parents suffered before they died.  Doing all I could to help, support, care for them and fight for them. Ultimately feeling totally helpless.  This haunts me constantly.

But I have not found a way to write about it. 

I am currently reading a book called How We Grieve by Thomas Attig, after coming across the following quote:

"Grieving is a journey that teaches us how to love in a new way now that our loved one is no longer with us. Consciously remembering those who have died is the key that opens the hearts, that allows us to love them in new ways."  Thomas Attig, The Heart of Grief  http://www.griefspeaks.com/id112.html

Loss, grief and the heart are key themes in my most recent trilogy for teenagers, which began with  Always in my Heart (Stabenfeldt), continued with The Heartbreak Horse and concludes with The Forever Horse, which I was working on this morning.  So although I feel I have not yet unlocked my grief, perhaps I have been indirectly exploring it without even realising it.

Eventually, perhaps, I will find the key.  I am certain that it is through writing that I will do this.

“She was no longer wrestling with the grief, but could sit down with it as a lasting companion and make it a sharer in her thoughts.” George Eliot

Related post: http://janeayres.blogspot.co.uk/2013/07/write-what-haunts-you.html

Beginnings and Endings

Sark.  Photo by Roger Hyland

I have come to the conclusion that there are no beginnings or endings, simply a continual passage of time, which I used to see as linear, then circular and, finally, as a figure of eight - the infinity symbol, moving back and forth between past and present into the future...

I like to play with this concept when I write.  Beginnings are always scary but exhilarating.  A bit like a plane taking off.  The start of the journey into the unknown. Endings are different.  They need to be satisfying, both to write and for the reader.  They don’t need to tie up all the loose ends, because life isn’t like that.  And when you think you have finished, you often find that the perfect ending is actually the perfect beginning.  And vice versa. 

I use this idea when I teach creative writing workshops.  It encourages fluidity; an open-minded approach to the creative process and the realisation that it is organic.

Related posts:
http://creatabot.co.uk/2012/07/19/stories-we-tell-ourselves-by-jane-ayres/
http://janeayres.blogspot.co.uk/2011/12/journeys-and-shapes.html

Elastic infinity (photo by Jane Ayres)

Write what haunts you

       Photo of rocks in ocean mist by Roger Hyland

I just read an interesting post by Melissa R. Sipin called Write What Haunts You on Glimmer Train which really resonated with me. We are often told that passion for our subjects should shine through the writing, which I agree with, although this can often be hard to sustain.  Everyone has ups and downs with writing, days when you feel like giving up, or that you have no more to say, or are simply burnt out.  

But writing what haunts you - that is wonderful advice. I'm not talking about the supernatural here (although it can encompass this) but thoughts and ideas that compel us, that revisit us time and again; issues that preoccupy us; problems to solve, that won't leave us until we have worked through them.  Whether this finds release and voice in a diary or fiction doesn't matter.  We have pictures and images in our head that remain fixed - happy or sad - or precious moments and memories that we hold and will never forget. These "ghosts" can transform our work and lend it authenticity.

Most writers discover, sometimes over a period of time, that there are themes that they continue to revisit, characters they want to return to; or simply obsessions that embed themselves into the work, unbidden but persistent threads, that are so much a part of us that they will not be silent. 

What haunts us can be deeply personal, not to be discussed with another living soul, but which can find a safe haven through the words we write.

In my own work, journeys continue to haunt me and find expression. What haunts you, and can you use it to enrich your writing?

Related posts: http://janeayres.blogspot.co.uk/search/label/journeys